The 5 Stages of Grief

They say grief has five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. But these stages don’t always come in that order. Sometimes, acceptance comes first because you’re already bargaining without realizing it, especially when you’re with someone fighting a terminal illness. Depression might follow quickly, making it impossible to ever fully get over their death.

When Ammama, my grandmother, passed away nearly ten years ago, I moved through denial, then depression, and finally anger—anger at having to helplessly and hopelessly watch life slip away from her. Bargaining came soon after, as I pleaded with an invisible God to spare her a few more years, offering mine in exchange, as if life were a video game where you could trade lives.

Even after all these years, I’m still not sure if I’ve fully accepted her loss. But I’ve realized there’s a stage nobody talks about 'numbness'. This stage leaves you completely disconnected from grief, making me believe I may never truly mourn another loss again.