The Imposter Syndrome

Some days I’m very critical of my art because honestly they aren’t my ideas. I sit thinking I can never make something original, something that is “out of my imagination” because either I’m too lazy or I’m never capable of it. I pray it isn’t the latter because that scares me. I draw almost everyday, thrice some days so there must be some capabilities right? At least the ability to replicate someone’s art. Which isn’t too bad is it? Where do you find the strength to post something you feel isn’t worth it? How do you push away these critical thoughts about you just being a copycat and not a creator? I awe at artists who has their own style but I also awe at those who create something beautiful than the original. Does giving credits take the burden away from you? because it still doesn’t make it yours does it? I hate myself for the compliments I receive, it gets me to thinking I don’t deserve it. Am I thinking out loud? I think I am or maybe I’m setting a standard here, a very low one, that I’m not what people think I am. So next time, when you describe me, you could maybe put that ‘she’s an artist’ ‘she can draw well’ label to the end or not even say it. This isn’t an epiphany or is it? Take it the way you like it. I’ve been writing this since 6:50 am on a Saturday morning but I feel it’s been eternity since I wanted to say it.