From Stifled Snickers to Full-Belly Howls

As a kid, I wasn't confident enough to laugh out loud or smile showing my teeth. My laughs were meek, almost non-existent. I used to cover the bottom half of my face and laugh quietly. I'm not sure if people noticed, or maybe they didn't care.

But that habit grew on me and became so ingrained in my personality that laughing out loud with my chin up and mouth wide open seemed abnormal. I remember someone once told me I had a beautiful smile. Of course, I didn't believe them, but I did go home, look at myself in the mirror, and smile. Then I laughed at how my eyes weren't symmetrical. It didn’t change anything, though.

It was a conscious effort not to lift my hands while laughing. I used to grasp onto a book or bottle to prevent myself from doing so. That was years ago. Now, I laugh hysterically, sometimes even in my sleep, and I'm unapologetically myself.