A Eulogy to Someone Who's Still Alive

I know it feels strange to mourn the loss of someone who’s still alive, especially when it comes to friendships.

It’s a peculiar kind of grief, isn’t it? One person moves on leaving the other behind. This kind of mourning can be just as intense as losing someone physically, filled with memories, regret, and that heavy sense of abandonment.

You must be thinking of a close friend now isn’t it? A friend who once shared your dreams, fears, and everyday trivialities. You walked through life side by side, facing challenges and celebrating victories together.

Then, one day, they began to move on. Maybe they found new passions, new people, or simply a new direction. They started a journey that led them away from the place you both once shared.

You reach out, but their responses were sparse and disconnected. The conversations that once flowed effortlessly are now stilted, filled with awkward pauses and polite formalities.

And then one day, the messages stop altogether. No arguments or falling out, just a gradual shift while you slowly realize that you’ve been ghosted. They grew into a new phase of life, one that no longer included you.

Cutting off contact is one way of coping for some, hoping that by distancing themselves, they could find some peace. But instead, the void only grew deeper — for both of you. Now, you’re left in the same place, feeling lonelier than ever.

This kind of mourning is complex. You’re grieving not just for the friend but for the bond you shared. Those once-precious moments now feel bittersweet, tainted by an undercurrent of sadness. You miss the version of them that fit seamlessly with the version of yourself you still are. Their absence is a stark reminder of what you’ve both lost and where neither of you is anymore.

Moving on from this loss isn’t easy. It means acknowledging your pain and giving yourself the grace to feel it fully. It requires understanding that their path is not a reflection of your worth or potential.

Mourning the loss of someone still alive means accepting that people grow and change at their own pace. It’s about finding the courage to reflect on where you are, making peace with it, and ultimately carving out your own path forward.

Ultimately, it’s important to recognize that both of you shared a meaningful space in each other’s lives honor the time you shared. The friendship meant something — something beautiful and meaningful. Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that’s okay.

Sometimes, the path we take diverge in different directions and it may seem like the person who ghosted you has moved on, but perhaps they’re still standing in the place where you left them, trying to figure things out, just like you.