Post Therapy Journal - A Eulogy to Someone Who's Still Alive

I know it feels strange to mourn the loss of someone who’s still alive, especially when it comes to friendships. It’s a peculiar kind of grief, isn't it? One person moves on from a shared space—whether it’s a physical place or an emotional connection—leaving the other behind. This kind of mourning can be just as intense as losing someone physically, filled with memories, regret, and that heavy sense of abandonment.

You must be thinking of a close friend who once shared your dreams, fears, and everyday trivialities. You walked through life side by side, facing challenges and celebrating victories together. Then, one day, they began to move on. Maybe they found new passions, new people, or simply a new direction. They started a journey that led them away from the shared place where you still remain.

You reach out, but the responses are few and far between. The conversations that once flowed effortlessly are now stilted, filled with awkward pauses and polite formalities. Eventually, the messages stop altogether, and you realize that you’ve been ghosted. They didn’t leave because of a fight or disagreement; they just grew into a different phase of their life, one that no longer included you.

On the flip side, seeing you move forward while they stayed behind was too painful for them. They couldn’t bear to watch you thrive in ways they felt incapable of achieving. So, they cut off contact, hoping that out of sight would mean out of mind. But the void you left only deepened, and the place you’re stuck in feels lonelier than ever.

So now you're here, mourning the loss of someone who is still alive, which is a peculiar kind of grief. You grieve for the loss of the friendship, for the shared moments that now feel tainted by an undercurrent of sadness. You miss the version of them that was intertwined with the version of you that you still are. Their absence is a constant reminder of how both of you were and where you aren’t.

Moving on from this kind of loss is challenging. It requires acknowledging the pain and giving yourself permission to feel it. It involves understanding that their journey is not a reflection of your worth or potential. Mourning the loss of someone who’s still alive is about accepting that people change and grow at different paces. It's about finding the strength to look at where you are and make peace with it, and eventually, finding your own path forward.

Ultimately, it’s important to recognize that both of you shared a meaningful space in each other's lives and enjoyed each other’s company during that time. Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that’s okay. Sometimes, the paths we take lead us in different directions, and it may seem like the person who ghosted you has moved on, but in reality, they are probably the ones standing where you left off.